Where It All Began ~Tiphanie W. | March 2024
As I look back over my life, I can see the evidence of each year’s growth in the midst of that year’s challenges. I often say, 2020 was a very tough year for a lot of people, but it wasn’t for me! The isolation that the pandemic forced us into, forced me into a position of redefinition through recognizing and accepting what God has called me to do in life. This was a time where I discovered the true power of forgiveness and how forgiveness is so freeing. I also discovered my purpose - my God given talent in life. I always knew it existed but I simply chalked my ability to help people and provide a safe space for people to truly open up while talking to me as I compassionately listen - as merely a positive personality trait. The moment that it hit me that I was carrying a gift was Sunday, March 8, 2020. God spoke to me not during church, but literally while sitting at my grandmother’s kitchen table having lunch after church. He told me that it was time for me to do more! And He had the nerve to leave it at that lol. But, I knew exactly what He was referring to. For those of you who don’t know me too well, I am a processor. I hear things and I feel things…..but I tend to sit with what has been revealed to me for a little bit while I process it before I act on or respond. In this case, I wrote about what I knew He was telling me it was time to do and a month later I was enrolled in coursework to make it official. I knew it was time to become a life coach and expand what I have within me to reach more people.
With heavy emphasis on every “it”, here’s what I wrote: “When it doesn’t fit in a box, when you can’t “not” do it, unofficially spent life training for it, when it doesn’t go away, when you would even do it unpaid, because it is a driving force in your life, it is terrifying at first, but you find yourself doing it whenever the opportunity presents itself, your sensitivity, awareness and intuition is heightened around it, only then because of it, your life has become purpose-driven and centered around goals, growth and contribution! Ladies, I am here to tell you this (it) that I speak of is your calling! It is a process, but learn to embrace it! Share your gift with the world because people need (it).”
Now here I am, approaching 4 years in as a life|health|wellness coach and I cannot even begin to explain how amazing this has been! Following an event just this past Saturday, I really reflected on the move of God. I shared on my socials that I knew I would more than likely cry on my commute back into town from the event. I said the way God just keeps placing me in the right places at the right time to pour into people! My tears are purely of joy in gratitude. I continually pray that God keeps me different and that He uses me as a vessel. There’s a few things I know and a few things I’ve had to learn. God will always get the glory in every situation and that He works all things out for the good. That means even getting a last minute invitation and feeling burdened by having to accommodate things into my schedule, He can and He will make it worth my wild for showing up and using my voice and my platform and the present moment to not only help or education the people, but to also remind the people of His goodness. In those moments, He gets the glory. I’ve learned that no matter how many coaches there are in the world, no one has my assignment. My anointing is mine and He has appointed me for such a time as this. Literally everything has changed in my life since I started showing up as the “!” instead of the “?”. The biggest take away I can give anyone is to know who you are and to know Whose you are.
I’ll admit, although God was heavily centered in my life when I announced and launched life coaching in the summer of 2020, now, things are so different. Everything, business wise is so much better because when I relaunched in the summer of 2023, I did it with God as my business partner. He leads and I follow and the blessings for myself and those connected to me just seem to flow.
The Harvest ~ Tiphanie W. | February 2024
Do not get weary in well-doing, for in due season, you shall reap if you faint not!
That scripture is a classic..... a heavy hitter for sure! It can be applied to every area of your life. As farmers plant seeds in fields, there is often a period of time, some short, some very long seasons, before they see anything sprout from the ground. You plant those seeds in good soil which provides a solid foundation and then you water and cultivate that ground believing that when the time is right, the crops will come forth. Sounds very much like hope and faith right? Well that's because that's exactly how it works.
Occasionally seasons of waiting are short. Sometimes we can hope and pray for things and it seems like the blessing was just around the corner. But generally, that's just not how God works. It is in the waiting where faith becomes necessary. God of immediate gratification requires no faith. Also, how much fruit can one possibly bare when lukewarm?
So how does this all relate to me. Let's take it back to the fall of 2022 when I felt like all hell was breaking throughout my life. I had taken on a position that I thought was "the one". Great pay, great benefits..... sounds good right? Wrong! I hated it. There was little to no structure, so much so that the state was involved and no one thought to tell me when I asked tough questions during the interview. I hated commuting. I hated the longer hours. I hated having to be 100% in-person. I hated the old, dusty, moldy building. My team was pretty cool, but they all hated it too and spent most days complaining and gossiping - two things I’m just not interested in. I began to see folks quit left and right. They were dropping like flies. There were so many red flags from week one. And I was pregnant!! I knew the environment was completely unhealthy - mentally & physically toxic. Thanks to a turn of events, I was only in that particular environment for about 8 weeks. Soooo life should be great now right? Wrong? Just as things were on the brink of improvement work-wise..... my personal life took a big hit leaving me feeling very much like I had been living a bit of a lie. That the situation as I thought I knew it was definitely not and made me question a lot of things. At one point, I even questioned what was I doing? I quickly forgave and reminded myself that the actions and circumstances around me could not dictate or alter who I am, my purpose in the particular situational role and the greater picture of what God has ultimately called me to do.
Life continued.... things didn't really get any better, but I just chose to show up on my end and remain true. Now let's get back to the harvest. I shed some major tears. I continued to shed tears from the fall of 2022 to the fall of 2023. All tears, sleepless nights and prayers were centered around 2 major things in my life. I couldn't wrap my brain around why?? Why did I forgive and agree to move on and why was there an apology but no change in behavior? The very way the situation was presented to me was the very way it had remained a year later. It's hard to fully heal from something when you are in the midst of it. Hard for a wound to heal when the scab is picked every so often. But one day in January 2024, God spoke to me and told me.... you thought it was about you all along. The narrative has made it about you. My daughter, it was never about sparing your feelings, it was about their attempt to spare their own feelings from any negative perception.
And then I questioned my overall season in life. Why was my career feeling so stagnant? It took until January also for God to actually speak back to me.... even though He blessed me before the end of the year, He was silently working until the beginning of the year. He told me I wasn't ready for what I'd been praying for. Everything I went through career-wise was to train me, mode me and craft me for a role that required a very specific skill set that is unique. And that I may have had the knowledge, but I also needed the discipline, character and heart posture to take on the door He opened for me because I was moving from a place of provisional to permanency.
Not that I do things for anything in return but honestly I did question God a few times in 2023. I asked Him what had I done for life to feel this way? The hurt, betrayal, stagnation, being overlooked, all of that messed with me. How could I have such a big heart for people but felt so....blah in return after constantly giving and pouring into others. Who would pour into me? And one day He simply replied, Me. See I was so busy seeking wholeness from the world around me when that's not the job of the world. I may be called and anointed to pour into people but those same people don't have the capacity to uplift me. My supplier is God. He is my source. He gave me this gift. He gave me this heart. He gave me this personality. He has equipped me to do the things He called me to do in life....big and small. I finally broke down in November of 2023. I was tired of crying. And please don't mistake this as depressed. I absolutely was not! Believers will understand seasons like this. Seasons of just being tired - it means your soul is weary. But I surrendered to God my career aspirations, my finances, and my life goals/ desires. Literally, I gave it ALL to God. I prayed some very specific prayers. And practiced being still. Waiting.
The tears, the prayers, the fasting, the scripture reading.... it was all planting (seeds). I trusted God in that the tears I cried in 2023 have watered those seeds that I had been sowing all along and that I would reap my harvest in due season. I never stopped believing although some moments it was hard. Hard! My faith has been tested so much and with each test, it just gets stronger and stronger. I become stronger and stronger. I become more of the person God has called me to be. With each season of life, I've learned to continue to use my gift in how I connect with people and nurture them. And I've learned to retreat to myself and time with God to recharge when I'm weak from doing the work. It's not easy helping people with major task in life. I've always been the go-to. The wise old soul, folks called me as I was growing up. Always the person people called for advice, a good laugh or a good cry. Folks come to you broken, lost, little self-confidence, etc. and sometimes building them up can break you down if you allow it. But I've learned to trust God fully and keep Him at the head of my life. I am intentional with how I care for myself and I am intentional with how I spend time with God. That is how my cup is poured into and how I am nurtured. His presence fills me up.
I am happy to say that every tear was worth it! I am in my harvest season and the crops are bountiful! God did exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ever hope for! Every single prayer that I prayed in November of 2023 when I surrendered all my hurt and confusion to Him was answered within a month. And for things that didn't fully "change".... He gave me clarity in the month of January in the form of 2 conversations, several prayers and weeks of fasting. He has instructed me on how He wants me to proceed. God has never led me astray. He has never failed me. It's all about obedience and faith.
New Year; New Place ~ Tiphanie W. | January 2024
A came across a video piece from a poet that I love. She speaks so eloquently and boldly. I think I may have listened to the clip two or three times before also resharing it on IG, SC & TT. Generally, my blogs are my own thoughts and feelings, but this one is too good not to place here - of course with credit to her originality. I resonate with this. I entered into this year with a fresh wind, one that only ^He^ can provide! Despite a little carryover, I felt good, fresh, and hopeful. I brought in the new year doing exactly what I plan to continue doing all year and that was reading my word and writing in my prayer journal with my husband right by my side. I also ended the year exactly the way I wanted to which was back to worshiping more, traveling more, pouring into myself more, and loving on life’s little/big blessings all while reflecting on life’s lessons. Reflection is a great tool because - Life is lived forwards, but only understood backwards!
I’ve been traveling every other weekend since late October. On a recent solo beach trip, I had some time to just sit with myself and with God and think about some things I wanted and needed to just be different. In case you haven’t heard me say, God is my business partner. He is all up in the midst of all of my affairs and endeavors. I hate not giving Him this level of authority previously but this also is just a part of spiritual maturity. The following weekend after that beach trip, I spent pretty much all weekend at home, resting both physically and mentally. The ease I felt in that time is what I plan to embrace and radiate all year long. With that….. things just have to be different.
Poem: “You know what’s beautiful is I’m at this place in my life where I speak over myself differently. I’m empowered by the things I’ve learned and the places I’ve been that gives me a better appreciation of who I am and what the future holds for me. I’m at a place in my life where I don’t care about trivial things. I’m not interested in sideways conversations, empty dialog, people who show up when it’s only convenient for them, and people who are just not good for me period. At this place in my life, I want things differently but I also take the initiative to do the things that I want differently. My actions will coincide with me, to deliver the expectations that I have set for myself. And at my big old age, I am accountable for me - not what others think or how others feel but what I can do for myself. Any obstacle that is in my path provides me another opportunity to learn. I no longer implant the feeling of woe is me…. but yes, it’s mine and I have the tools to overcome and be delivered from it. And because I look at myself differently, I treat myself differently and no one will ever run me over or insert their personal issues or deficiencies on me. Your issues are yours and not for me to handle. When you honor yourself in a space that allows you to see the beautiful change, you don’t let anyone or anything knock you off the position you work so hard to obtain. I’m at this place where I speak life over me. Where are you? And what would you change for you to see yourself in this beautiful light? -Lisa (Seasoned Dialogue)
Quiet as its Kept ~ Tiphanie W.| December 2023
This one might ruffle more than just a few feathers and it will more than likely be my last deep thought surrogacy post. As I gain more connections, I definitely want to share my take on a few things so there is no confusion on who I am and what I stand for.
As I shared in my previous blog called The Experience, there is in fact some good and some greed in this lovely industry called surrogacy. At this point, I’ve spent about a year speaking with those connected to surrogacy from every angle. Whether it is through a phone call, in-person, text, or direct messages on social media; from parents, surrogates and “professionals” alike. What I’ve gathered is, there is some common ground for sure but there is also a pretty diverse set of reasons for the purpose and intent of their existence.
Now, this is the part that may get a little rocky, but I feel it needs to be said. A good friend of mine, that I met and bonded with through surrogacy as she was navigating and embracing this world via the lens of an intended mother seeking a surrogate, said it best – she wished some surrogates would stop pretending to want a non-transactional experience when truthful they were seeking a transactional journey all along. Sure, there are some good intentions in it all. Regardless, you are doing a good deed despite whatever initially inspired you. And if you assume it will be a walk in the park along the way, you’ll be in for a rude awakening! Even the most beautiful journeys require an enormous amount of commitment, discipline and effort. To cut straight to the chase and not sugar coat, if you are in it for the money, you will work for the money!
But let’s get back on track here. When it comes to me, I was very much disassociated in my first journey. The main hype and focus were on Covid-19 during that time and I had very little interest in social media. Agency staff constantly encouraged me to join Facebook to be part of their surrogacy mom group which was an extension of their monthly support group. I always declined and in my second journey when I became more active on social media in efforts to expand my own online presence as a life coach, I quickly learned I wasn’t missing much at all in the social media surrogacy world. I have yet to join Facebook!
What does surrogacy look like on social media- a little far off from reality. It looks a bit masked and fairytale-ish. It looks like a bunch of folks claiming to be experts from the second they submit their application to be a surrogate. It looks like a bunch of people claiming to be an advocate for a community when they are really recruiting for their own personal financial gain. It looks predominantly white (when I’m sure it is) but there are many women of other races who are surrogates, who are greatly underrepresented in everything from Facebook to Instagram to TikTok to Agency and Organization websites. And let me be clear, I don’t mean the occasional fair-skinned Latina woman as a surrogate. As a woman of color, we get very little love in surrogacy community which is weird to me but also to be excepted because that’s the case for most things, still, in 2023. It also looks like a bunch of people dancing and twirling around to trendy songs on reels and TikToks while heading to appointments, taking multiple pregnancy test, and dancing to how seemingly easy it was for them to get pregnant as if the very people they are supposedly here to help don’t have so much anxiety around those very things and at times haven’t shared their journey with family and friends, may not even be aware the surrogate has taken a pregnancy test and shared results with followers or may even be struggling with adjusting to the fact that someone else has to carry their child while still longing for the desire of doing this part of life themselves. Like do these women not think about this while they are so busy flaunting online, I often wonder? I think what get’s me the most are the videos about compensation - it’s such a turn-off. It is not flattering or becoming, although most surrogates think it is very cute to demand their “worth” on social media and encourage others to do so as well. I personally feel as if I am worth more than a dollar amount - that’s more of a form of limiting belief. In the grand scheme of things, would it be so much to consider that aspect as an added bonus to the good deed?
My reason for this is because these same people online always share so called claims that surrogacy has such a bad rap. They constantly mention all these “rumors” and “questions” they get asked about being a surrogate. I personally believe you attract what you give off. Plain and simple! I have never once had anyone question my motive for surrogacy or make any negative comments directly to me about what I am doing! I have had a few personal people in my life ask me why specifically and it was due to a lack of understanding and exposure to the topic thanks to the fact you never see minorities as surrogates in the majority of media. If you make videos several times per month about compensation, you cannot be upset when someone slides in your comments or DMs about the fact you are just doing it for the money – it’s the vibes you give off honey. And as a social worker by education and by heart, what people call advocacy online in surrogacy is not advocating for self, others, programs or community – what I see online is sales, marketing, promotion and recruiting. That is far from advocating.
I spent a few months trying to push my way into a community that I felt rejected by time and time again. And not just social media but within my own agency, which is a whole other topic but was absolutely to be expected as they are all about promoting white and green, if you know what I mean. Beginning on Juneteenth, I connected with a few other brown and minority surrogates online through a post that I made and a few posts that I came across. Things started off okay, but I quickly learned the brown side (surrogacy community) was no different than the “other” side. What I saw was a bunch of women secretly in competition with each other. A bunch of women doing the exact same thing I despised on the other side, flaunting everything around every day on social media when the majority of the time the families they were working with were oblivious to what they were truly sharing and how much they boasted about their monetary value. I quickly realized these people were also, not my people!
The surrogacy community is not for me. It absolutely is not for me! And I have very much become disassociated again. It was and is quite peaceful in my little bubble with limited access. I have come across some sweet folks along the way and I value those connections. I’ve come across others that I pretty much just conclude our interactions as a reason for just a season but it is nothing I desire long term. Not that I think I am better than any one else. That’s far from the purpose of this piece. I am just sure of who I am and I realize that I don’t quite fit in because I am not meant to. I am not meant to be a sellout like they used to say around the way when I was growing up. My purpose for the little bit of space that I take up in such a big industry and big world will one day come completely into fruition.
“Come out from among them and be separate.” 2 Corinthians 6:17
Seasons ~ Tiphanie W. | November 2023
Lately I’ve felt like I am in a weird season. Note, I did not say a hard season or a bad season. It is just weird. Then I heard a quote that said: you cannot become the right person in the wrong environment. And I remembered another quote a few weeks prior that said: you don’t know the version of yourself that is required for the thing that you have been praying for. So, you have been placed in a season of preparation to make yourself appropriate to be able to satisfy the very thing you’ve been praying for. I sat with both of those thoughts for some time and then I grabbed my pen.
{“I go to work daily…..comfortable but feeling very stagnant.”} I’ve worked some pretty neat and rewarding positions over the last decade. I know everything happens for a reason and the work that I’ve done has helped so many children and families both in financial resources and educational resources, among other things. I’ve worked in public service fields (education and social work) for some time now. But even with all that I’ve done, I don’t feel fulfilled. I haven’t felt that way since 2014.
Taking a step back during a time when my career was soaring was not easy – at all! Has it been worth it, yes! Because money cannot buy time, nor happiness, nor peace, nor sanity. The years I spent being physically and emotionally available to my family are invaluable. The memories created during those years are priceless. But there is this part of me that often wonders, where would I be right now had I kept going? I was on fire for about a 5-year span. And yes, I have received promotions and recognition at every single job since but that’s just it. They are literally just jobs, not a career. One may say, I’ve had a career in public service for a decade or a career in education for a little over a decade but that’s not how I view it.
At this point, I want more, more than mediocre. Last fall, I made a slight change back in that direction by returning to a 12-month, 8-5 schedule, after working 10 months at pretty much 8-3 or 4pm for the past 5 years. I know there is more in store for me and this is only the beginning simply because His word says so. I’ve made my request known so now I wait. There is so much work that has been done within me and so much more to be done and I know that is part of the reason I am not quite where I want to be or should I say, I am not at the place He is preparing for me. I want nothing more than to walk in purpose. He doesn’t call the equipped. He equips those who He calls.
This season of wait – This season of rest – This season of preparation – is a season of equipping. First the heart, then the mind. Everything is always from the inside out, when it is from Him.
The Experience ~ Tiphanie W. | July 2023
I sit and I think....and when my thoughts are longer than a minute or two, I begin to write. Most of my thoughts are housed between a few journals and some I decide to let out. Why? It is clearly what the people want to know because I get asked so often; How was that? What was that like? And more! There are just some life experiences that I think may help someone else along the way.
My first journey was absolutely for the parents! Their much-needed breath of fresh air! Something I wanted to do for so long but also something they had been working on almost the exact same amount of time. Talk about coincidence! The entire thing from start to finish was beautiful and a miracle. Because of it and the relationship that was created, there was no hesitation to return for more - a subsequent journey.
That second one took me through the fire. Now before your mind hounds in on the word fire, I mean this in a good way. Fire can symbolize the powerful presence of God. His grace and mercy over our lives as we draw near to Him. We've heard songs talking about being consumed with His fire. Oh, there is beauty in the fire yall!
But anyway, because I am not a minister lol, back to my second journey. That journey was absolutely for me! I kept wondering why in the world did it feel so different?? Some parts felt so rushed but in reality, we were unfortunately on a race against time with a number of things. Times I felt so isolated and other times where I felt like I’ve never been closer to the
ones I honestly didn’t know I needed the most. That journey stretched me to capacity! Snatched me right up out of my comfort zone in life. Just when you think you have it all planned out and under control, God will remind you real fast who is in charge! That second journey taught me some lessons. It grew me! And it provided an opportunity for me to do a little healing. I am not ashamed to say I went through about 10 weeks of therapy during that time. And then, in the blink of an eye, it all came to an abrupt end, the pregnancy that is. Not only was a beautiful baby born (early) but also a whole new version of me....and that part of birth was in His timing.
Now, I am not perfect but more so a progress. Quite frankly, aren't we all a work in progress? If not, then you are stagnant, which isn't the best place to be in life. I came out of that journey with a whole new mindset. A whole new appreciation for life, literally because surrogacy is the gift of life. I came out with a voice, even though I thought I was already outspoken. I came out with a heightened spirit of discernment. Like seriously, that is such a powerful gift to have but it is often watered down by the term intuition. And yes, I am intuitive in the natural realm but this is not that! I literally see things and people for exactly what and who they are and that's not always fun. Lastly, I came out of the second journey with this deep sense of passion and drive to do some things that had been on the back burner, just due to life as a wife and mother. Yall know how the old gospel songs would say, "it's like fire, shut up in my bones". Yeah, well that's how I came out and that's how I knew I'd encountered the presence of the Almighty!
Call this a testimony if you will. I've said before, sometimes God will take you on a journey you thought you wanted but never knew you needed! People have seen only the surface level of my experience as a surrogate, but have somehow seen other areas of my life shift over time and tell me or pretty much affirm what I knew to be true to what was happening within me through the deeper level of my experience as a surrogate. But if you follow my snapchat and Instagram, I posted in April of 2022 that I was granting God permission to use me fully, without even consulting me first. No, He doesn't need permission to do anything, but I confessed that out loud and publicly (through my platforms) to remind the enemy who I
belong to. There was so much power in that one sentence. Stuff sounds real cliché until you truly reflect on it.....there is power in the tongue!
I had a classmate and close childhood friend tell me, Tip, you should write a book, girl!! No, I choose to stay in my lane. First of all, I don't want to capitalize off surrogacy. There's already enough of that going around. There is some good and some greed in this industry. The side of greed is what I continually pray for protection from. It is so easy to get caught up in the hype, the glitz and glam, the likes and followers, the fame and fortune. I want no parts.
I pray God continues to keep me rooted, grounded, humble and different. I am set apart with a passion for people that is far bigger than I can contain. This I know!
Life After Surrogacy ~ Tiphanie W. | June 2023
When you surf the internet, this is a topic that you don’t really see much. So many people spend a considerable amount of time documenting their journey from the initial thought and application to the birth story. But what I have found is that even for those considering a subsequent journey, there is this time-lapse. A gap in the details. A complete blur of postpartum and what life is like right after surrogacy. I’ve seen maybe one or two post and a blog or two but that’s it…… I am also not big on social media. But the longer I am around, the more I am exposed to. In the last 6 months or so, I’ve connected with so many Gestational Carriers and now it seems this connection is spilling over into the world of surrogacy with Intended Parents too. For those of you who know me, you know, making meaningful connections that can help others is something I absolutely love!
Most recently, I made a post about surrogacy on Juneteenth, as did another one of my fellow surro-sisters from the west coast and different agency. From there, I ended up speaking with a first time surrogate a few days ago who is approximately 3 months postpartum. Which brings me to the point of writing this. She documented her journey through bump pictures and a few sweet details along the way. But what wasn’t documented was what we discussed through direct messages and that was postpartum.
Let’s face it, postpartum can be hard and challenging no matter how beautiful your pregnancy was, or how smooth your delivery was, or no matter how much support have. The reality is, birth is a form of trauma to the body and on top of the huge shift in hormones, postpartum is a tough time. She shared with me that postpartum for her felt “weird” and it’s full of ups and downs that she really wasn’t prepared for. And that’s just it! It is a part of surrogacy that you just aren’t prepared for. But for someone like me, I actually like talking about the gray areas that are uncomfortable or maybe even unexpected. Without these critical conversations around the emotional side of surrogacy, we are sometimes left feeling like we actually shouldn’t be feeling this way. As if surrogacy takes away natural feelings as a woman/ human and leaves us numb to the raw experiences
in our journeys. That concept reflects how naïve we can be without deep discussion.
As I shared with her, I also felt a little “different” after my first journey. It wasn’t bad…..but I honestly didn’t know how to feel either or if what I was feeling was okay to actually feel - if that makes sense. It is indeed a weird feeling when life as you have known it for the last 18 months all of a sudden comes to a halt. The pregnancy is done, the baby is gone, the bump is gone (or for some, it’s on its way out), the emails are little to none, the text, calls, etc. everything just feels gone. So, what’s next? What do you do? I would say regardless of whether you have any interest in a future journey or not, it is absolutely 100% okay to feel not okay for a little while, but don’t allow yourself to stay there. Understand the hormones play a huge role in this. But give yourself some grace – as a matter of fact, give yourself a ton of grace! Love on yourself extra hard during those first couple of days, weeks, months following your journey. Do all the things you so desperately wished you could have done postpartum with your own children. Take those naps, take those peaceful walks, take those long showers and long baths (when medically cleared of course). Take time to reach out and thank all of those who made sacrifices and supported you along your journey such as family, friends, medical staff, agency staff, employers and coworkers because we often forget how much of a role everyone in our lives played so that we could be successful as a surrogate. Spend lots of quality time with your spouse/ significant other and your own children, travel, exercise maybe even set some new goals and desires to give yourself something to work towards if you are the type who doesn’t like to sit idle. You get the point - simply focus on you!
Think of postpartum and life after surrogacy like the feeling we all had coming out of the pandemic lockdown and restrictions. Life returned to “normal” but normal looked a lot different, didn’t it? Well that is us after surrogacy. We are the same, but different! It is the new normal. We have done something huge and it should change your life forever. Surrogacy definitely changed my life! It has changed the way I look at so many things. It has increased my faith! It has created new partnerships, relationships, friendships and bonds with people I couldn’t image ever meeting otherwise. But most importantly, I say this all of the time to
anyone that ask…. surrogacy has indeed humbled me! As I sit here almost 4.5 months following my second journey, I can honestly say that postpartum has been a breeze this time but it is also a situation where you live and you learn. When you know better, you do better I guess. So, tune in to those feelings and emotions, get some rest and give yourself whatever it is you think you need during postpartum – your body will love you for it!
Work Pivot ~ Tiphanie W. | May 2023
It’s a thing – it is definitely a thing, changing jobs that is. Let’s dive deeper and look at the pros and cons of changing jobs (frequently).
I consider myself a bit old fashioned with a lot of stuff. My views on work attire, work attendance and work relationships are all very traditional. As I get older and I would like to think, wiser, my thoughts on other areas have changed. You may have heard me say before, the pandemic taught us that employers CAN be flexible and most jobs can be done outside of an “office”. I personally do not believe that a workweek absolutely has to be 40 hours, Monday through Friday. Occasionally, jobs can be done in less time and less days but it takes team work and efficiency. Of course, that may not be the case every week or for every industry either. I am fortunate enough to have an employer that does offer some flexibility with perks such as 4-day work weeks, hybrid settings and PTO.
But let’s talk about this concept of pivoting. I know I will ruffle the feathers of “seasoned” workplace leaders and the old fashioned. But I say, if you desire a change, if the work is no longer working for you, or if you are completely burned out, leave! Plain and simple. It is not the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s anymore. Myself and many of my fellow working millennials are just not staying at jobs for the sake of staying anymore. We often pose a unique skill set like no other age groups and a high level of education. We are passionate. We are creative. We walk into new jobs with drive and ready to hit the ground running. Unfortunately, in recent years, these employers are not meeting us with the same energy….sometimes they don’t even meet us halfway.
In present times, employers are asking for a lot. They want advanced degrees and yield a long list of qualifications that are the new minimum. They have updated job descriptions but haven’t updated salaries, expanded benefits, improved working conditions or developed new ways for advancement all while at least trying to maintain a level of respect for their employees by providing access to mental health support and a work-life balance. Therefore we, the millennials, come in and do our thing for a few years and then we pivot. I don’t think you should change jobs like changing underwear because there is always the risk of presenting yourself as a red flag. But there is absolutely no harm in making a change after 3-5 years of course if you have stability in other areas including investments and retirement. The key is having a strong network and a very impressive work portfolio that highlights how much of an asset you have been to your job. A pivot can provide quick opportunity for growth and a great sense of fulfillment. I say go for it!
Money Talk ~ Tiphanie W. | November 2022
It’s not really a matter of what to do to make your money work for you, it’s more so just getting started!
· Income – wages and tips, entrepreneurship, interest, investments, gifts, commission, etc.
· Savings – traditional accounts, high yield accounts, market accounts, retirement accounts, etc.
· Future – term life insurance, whole life insurance, will, living trust, etc.
The most important thing you can do is plan for today and have a plan for tomorrow. If you have children, develop some sort of generational wealth. There are so much more than the areas listed above! And you don’t need a fat paycheck to get started. Let’s chat about it!
Health is the new Wealth ~ Tiphanie W. | September 2022
Ah this is my jam! There are so many things I could talk about all day and this topic is definitely one of them. I am not a licensed trained health care professional nor do I proclaim to be. Occasionally, I take what some of them say at face value anyway. I am not a fitness or personal trainer. I am not a nutritionist. But what I am is a personal who has a high interest in taking care of myself physically and mentally; internally and externally.
What good is it to eat healthy but suffer from chronic stress? What good is it to workout on a regular but consume alcohol on a regular as well? What good is to prioritize sleep but use tons of harsh chemicals, carcinogenic products and toxins? I mean think about it. No one is perfect and even some of the most physically fit individuals may possibly face challenges in life because stuff unfortunately just happens. The thing is to make conscious decisions and lifestyle choices that can optimize your health and hopefully prolong your lifespan.
I used to be skinny, literally all of my life. I still indeed have a small frame but my weight has increased over the years. I was able to successfully gain almost 25 pounds through diet and strength training exercise. When I was super skinny, those are not my proudest years in life. I had major self-image issues, I had poor eating habits and exercise was pretty much non-existent. The only time I monitored my diet and habits was during my pregnancy with my youngest son. My body wasn’t my own anymore and I knew I wanted to provide the very best environment for him. After he was born, I remained small and slipped right back into my old ways. But something sparked in me when I turned 30. I woke up and realized I only had one body and it was starting to change with age. I knew it was time to change my ways also. It’s like our pressure washer guy said when he saw a spike in business in 2021. He was like why on earth would a person only pressure wash their house just put it on the market for someone else. Why not take care of your house and keep it looking nice for you while you are in it? The same goes for the body. We only get one so we need to take care of it.
Fast forward five years and I am much healthier than before. Tiphanie at a BMI of 26 (at times 27-28) is much healthier than Tiphanie at a BMI of 23. It goes to show you can’t always base things off the scale and someone’s initial appearance. I want to live long….a good life, a blessed life. I want my kids to bury me in old age. So I make a conscious effort to eat clean, healthy meals, to consume nutritious, hydrating beverages, to rest when I need rest, to be active often, to enjoy nature and adventures, to engage in fresh air and direct sunlight, and to do things that make me feel good!