The Harvest ~ Tiphanie W. | February 2024

Do not get weary in well-doing, for in due season, you shall reap if you faint not!  

That scripture is a classic..... a heavy hitter for sure! It can be applied to every area of your life. As farmers plant seeds in fields, there is often a period of time, some short, some very long seasons, before they see anything sprout from the ground. You plant those seeds in good soil which provides a solid foundation and then you water and cultivate that ground believing that when the time is right, the crops will come forth. Sounds very much like hope and faith right? Well that's because that's exactly how it works.  

Occasionally seasons of waiting are short. Sometimes we can hope and pray for things and it seems like the blessing was just around the corner. But generally, that's just not how God works. It is in the waiting where faith becomes necessary. God of immediate gratification requires no faith. Also, how much fruit can one possibly bare when lukewarm? 

So how does this all relate to me. Let's take it back to the fall of 2022 when I felt like all hell was breaking throughout my life. I had taken on a position that I thought was "the one". Great pay, great benefits..... sounds good right? Wrong! I hated it.  There was little to no structure, so much so that the state was involved and no one thought to tell me when I asked tough questions during the interview.  I hated commuting.  I hated the longer hours. I hated having to be 100% in-person.  I hated the old, dusty, moldy building.  My team was pretty cool, but they all hated it too and spent most days complaining and gossiping - two things I’m just not interested in. I began to see folks quit left and right. They were dropping like flies. There were so many red flags from week one.  And I was pregnant!! I knew the environment was completely unhealthy - mentally & physically toxic. Thanks to a turn of events, I was only in that particular environment for about 8 weeks.  Soooo life should be great now right? Wrong? Just as things were on the brink of improvement work-wise..... my personal life took a big hit leaving me feeling very much like I had been living a bit of a lie.  That the situation as I thought I knew it was definitely not and made me question a lot of things. At one point, I even questioned what was I doing?  I quickly forgave and reminded myself that the actions and circumstances around me could not dictate or alter who I am, my purpose in the particular situational role and the greater picture of what God has ultimately called me to do.   

 Life continued.... things didn't really get any better, but I just chose to show up on my end and remain true.  Now let's get back to the harvest. I shed some major tears.  I continued to shed tears from the fall of 2022 to the fall of 2023.  All tears, sleepless nights and prayers were centered around 2 major things in my life.  I couldn't wrap my brain around why?? Why did I forgive and agree to move on and why was there an apology but no change in behavior? The very way the situation was presented to me was the very way it had remained a year later.  It's hard to fully heal from something when you are in the midst of it. Hard for a wound to heal when the scab is picked every so often. But one day in January 2024, God spoke to me and told me.... you thought it was about you all along. The narrative has made it about you. My daughter, it was never about sparing your feelings, it was about their attempt to spare their own feelings from any negative perception.  

And then I questioned my overall season in life. Why was my career feeling so stagnant? It took until January also for God to actually speak back to me.... even though He blessed me before the end of the year, He was silently working until the beginning of the year. He told me I wasn't ready for what I'd been praying for.  Everything I went through career-wise was to train me, mode me and craft me for a role that required a very specific skill set that is unique. And that I may have had the knowledge, but I also needed the discipline, character and heart posture to take on the door He opened for me because I was moving from a place of provisional to permanency.  

Not that I do things for anything in return but honestly I did question God a few times in 2023. I asked Him what had I done for life to feel this way? The hurt, betrayal, stagnation, being overlooked, all of that messed with me.  How could I have such a big heart for people but felt so....blah in return after constantly giving and pouring into others. Who would pour into me? And one day He simply replied, Me. See I was so busy seeking wholeness from the world around me when that's not the job of the world.  I may be called and anointed to pour into people but those same people don't have the capacity to uplift me.  My supplier is God. He is my source. He gave me this gift. He gave me this heart. He gave me this personality. He has equipped me to do the things He called me to do in life....big and small.  I finally broke down in November of 2023. I was tired of crying. And please don't mistake this as depressed.  I absolutely was not! Believers will understand seasons like this. Seasons of just being tired - it means your soul is weary. But I surrendered to God my career aspirations, my finances, and my life goals/ desires. Literally, I gave it ALL to God.  I prayed some very specific prayers.  And practiced being still.  Waiting.  

The tears, the prayers, the fasting, the scripture reading.... it was all planting (seeds). I trusted God in that the tears I cried in 2023 have watered those seeds that I had been sowing all along and that I would reap my harvest in due season.  I never stopped believing although some moments it was hard. Hard! My faith has been tested so much and with each test, it just gets stronger and stronger.  I become stronger and stronger. I become more of the person God has called me to be. With each season of life, I've learned to continue to use my gift in how I connect with people and nurture them. And I've learned to retreat to myself and time with God to recharge when I'm weak from doing the work. It's not easy helping people with major task in life. I've always been the go-to. The wise old soul, folks called me as I was growing up. Always the person people called for advice, a good laugh or a good cry. Folks come to you broken, lost, little self-confidence, etc. and sometimes building them up can break you down if you allow it.  But I've learned to trust God fully and keep Him at the head of my life. I am intentional with how I care for myself and I am intentional with how I spend time with God. That is how my cup is poured into and how I am nurtured.  His presence fills me up.   

 I am happy to say that every tear was worth it! I am in my harvest season and the crops are bountiful! God did exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ever hope for! Every single prayer that I prayed in November of 2023 when I surrendered all my hurt and confusion to Him was answered within a month. And for things that didn't fully "change".... He gave me clarity in the month of January in the form of 2 conversations, several prayers and weeks of fasting.  He has instructed me on how He wants me to proceed. God has never led me astray. He has never failed me.  It's all about obedience and faith.